BeeBee's 365 Challenge

for the little things that make me happy

Day 272: Things I Wish My Mother Told Me

on September 28, 2012

It is okay to be different.

As a youngster, I was frequently compared to other children.

I didn’t do things in the same ways they did. I knew from an early age that I had my own path. I wanted something different.

If you look at a list of things I want to be it wasn’t exactly run of the mill.

A nurse who didn’t see blood.

A story writer.

I wanted to grow a toffee lollipop tree.

I wanted to be a witch.

I wanted to write the news but not speak it.

Strangely I have managed to do little bits of all of those jobs. Which is rare. I don’t have anything in my childhood ‘I wanna’ list. I personally think this is a good thing. I went and did what I wanted when I wanted to.

But this wasn’t seen as a good thing. My family on a whole wanted me to conform. I had to be seen to be a responsible person. I had to look like I belonged. Which lets be honest I didn’t look like I belonged anywhere.

I have had confidence and weight issues for all but about 10 years of my life. I can understand why I was dragged to diet clubs, and food was rationed at home. Every summer holiday started with a new diet, so I would look like the other girls. Every summer ended with a new school uniform being bought, or even made, as I had grown too fat for the last one.

As a grown up and a parent I have finally come to the decision that how my weight problem was handled was wrong. It was always made a point of. Looking back, I wasn’t that horrendously big at my largest at school I was a 18/20.

What I was is upset and felt unappreciated. I didn’t have an opinion at home. This is probably where my love of words came from.

So overall what I want my boys to know is, it IS okay to be different. In fact embrace it. If you are happy knowing who you are, you are not going to put a foot wrong. Mistakes don’t happen, they are opportunities presenting themselves. There is nothing that can’t be undone.

I wouldn’t change me for the world, I have never looked at a picture and decided I want to be that person (I have come close with Zooey Deschanel but I’d still be me). Some situations I have been in aren’t the best, but lead to good tales for the nursing home in later life.

21-Day Challenge: After yesterday’s slip, I’m trying hard to pull it back.

Today’s Activity: Film night on the sofa.

BeeBee x

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