BeeBee's 365 Challenge

for the little things that make me happy

Day 29: Light at the End of the Tunnel

on January 29, 2012

I’m still feeling chronic. Loud gurgling & groaning noises. I’m also very bloated. Bring into it some ill advised sneezing and it’s safe to say I’m still not right.

It’s time to get back on the eating plan. When I’m not Food Optimising everything else seems to fall apart too. Strange. It’s almost as if the structure of the plan helps with the building blocks of the rest of my daily life.

Planning is key. If I don’t plan my food I seem to become obsessed on all the little things. The more I think about the little things the less I seem to care and the more of the unhealthy stuff I eat. The pieces of pizza, kebabs, burgers slip in. The chocolate goes in mindlessly. The syns don’t get counted, the less accountable I feel the worse it gets and the lower I feel.

I don’t regret anything I eat, there is always a reason behind it. And as a person who is constantly battling the re-emergence of an eating disorder. I’m determined that my children will never have the issues around food that I have. Pretty much the only way I can ensure that is for them to not here me talk about foods being bad or evil. All foods are to be involved in our lives. This is why I tend not to err on the side of the low-syn versions and have the real thing.

When I do this I tend not to wobble or feel hard done by. But, as soon as I feel unwell, stressed or overly tired it is the 1st thing that goes out of the window.

Not sleeping does have its advantages I got to watch two episodes of Pan-Am. I frequently sit mesmerised by the wardrobe and hairstyles. Not to mention the sub-plots and the drop-dead gorgeous gentlemen written in each week (not to mention all the pilots in uniform).

Today’s activities: Finding a A4 lever arch file in the colour I wanted (I know!) And some variegated wool for making pompoms with the boys during half term.

BeeBee x


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